


We Are Number One But It's the Worst Fanfic You've Ever Read

by TheShittiestShipper (quornchickennugget)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: M/M, Major Spoilers, Memes, Multi, My First Smut, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, just a totally normal love story between four dudes a robot and a bottle of panta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quornchickennugget/pseuds/TheShittiestShipper
Summary: 01100110 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 01110011 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110000 01100001 01101110 01110100 01100001 00100000 00111011 00101001





	

**Author's Note:**

> 01110111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011

Hi my name is Kokichi Dark'ness Dementia Eggplant Ouma and I have short eggplant hair (that's how I got my name) that's weirdly parted and only works bc animu physics and purple eyes that tend to look at nice asses and a lot of people tell me I'm like Nagito Komaeda (A/N if u don't kno who he is then get da hell out of here!!). I'm not related to Robbie Rotten but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a liar, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a part of a secret society called DICE in Japan where I'm the supreme leader (I'm eighteen). I love Panta (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly white. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a white suit with multiple straps wrapped around my arms and two straps loose around my legs and a shirt that's ripped at the hem with multi-colored buttons running down the middle of it and military badges on the right, black and purple slip flats and a check patterned scarf. I was wearing black eyeliner. I was walking outside Hope's Peak Academy. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about (I'm lying though). A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.  
  
"Hey Ouma!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was....... Panta-sama!  
"What's up Panta-sama?" I asked.  
"Nothing." He said shyly.  
Normally at this point, my friends come and I have to go but today Hoshi was occupied with his tennis racket and Gonta was having sexyfuntime with Barry B Benson (I'm so jealous!!) and the others were waiting to conveniently pop up later. Everything was going according to keikaku (A/N keikaku means plan).  
"What's up with you?" Panta-sama asked all sexylike.  
"Upupupupupupupupupu" I said but not like Monokuma bc he is a hoe. "Y don't u see when u come to my room?"

When they got back to Ouma's dorm he opened the door and let panta-same inside before following him and shutting the door. He sensually caressed panta-samu's body, each finger running up his bottle's curves like a snail trailing sexy slime on the pavement until Ouma reached his lid. He swirled his finger sensually around it, fingernails brushing each ridge. Panta-snepapu blushed like a really red noseblud (but maybe not in dingle rompers bc the blood is pink idk just panta was blushu).  
"Plz ouma-kun." panta-same moaned sexily like turtle but rly sexy turtle not like one of those mutants with spanish names or whatever. "I need u to open me up and lick my juices liek sexc frog."  
"Panta-samo I will try but my oral skillz are nothing compared to the grand lord queen pepe." Ouma said. But............... he was lYiNG!!!

With a sexc "nishishsihishi" Ouma slipped his sly fingers under panta-sama's label and slipped it off, letting it drop to the floor. He gently placed panta-sama on his bed before taking off cloths. Slow liek sloth. Pinta-sama's juices were begin to leak at the sight of Ouma's leanly muscular muscles.  
"Leaking on my bed, panta-same?" Ouma chastised as he got into bed fully nakes and cradled panta-sama in his naked hands. "what a naughty boy. I guess i'll have to punish you..."  
Ouma gently twisted panta-samam's lid. "Aaah!" panta-amsa said bc it felt rly good. Slowly, the lid came off and panta-sama whispered a little scREm as his bottle did the little fizz thingy that happens when u open a fanta bottle. Ouma swirled his hot, wet tongue around panta-sama's neck, teasing him. Panta0samu screm sexylik. Ouma rammed his pink snekliek tong into pantasama's necc, drink his juicy juices. Panta sama panted, sigh with good feel. Suddenly, Ouma's door opened and a smol beep boop voice sed  
"Boner mode activate."  
Ouma and pantasmama look up to the source of the beepboopvoice sed and it was... Kiibo/Ki-bo/Keebo/K1-B0/H0p3dud3.  
"Kiibo/Ki-bo/Keebo/K1-B0/H0p3dud3!" Ouma cry. "wat r u doing in my swamP?????!!!!!""""  
Kiibo/Ki-bo/Keebler/K1-B0/H0p3dud3 blush and bite robolip with roboteef. "Pls just call me Kiibo."  
"Okai Kiibo but plis show me ur robocock."  
Keemstar walked over to where oma was straddled, pantasame's juices dribbling down his lips like niagara falls but lighter and slammed his lips into the other male's, one robohand tangling tiself in the eggplanthead's eggplant hair. Keblo could taste pantasombrero's juices on ouma's tongue and brought pantasame between them, grinding his tiny plastic bottle between the two of them. Pantasameu screm again. Very loud. Wakey wakey neighbours. Soon, pantasamu felt his pressure building. Purple sticky goodness arose in him.  
"Aah~" He moan, "Oh! Oh! OH! I think I'm gettin a orgasm!" and then he had a orgasm, his juices spurted all over ouma's nakey nakey skin and kaleshake's robotic metallic metal body. They were both covered. Ouma put pantasame's lifeless, empty bottle to the side before turning to keemstar, kissing where pantasuem's juices had gotten to. He licked at each bit of sticky panta juice goodness. Kiibo moaned. He pressed soft hard passionate kisses to ouma's leanly muscular muscles when the door opened again!!!  _(plot twist!!!!!11!!!!1!!!!eleven!!!!)._ And it was........ Saihara!!!!!!   
"Hey Saihara." Oumam said as teh detective walked in on the passionate scene. "i thought you were banging kaede?"  
"O she left me hanging" saihara repliesd. (A/N LOL GEDDIT AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH). "Antyway I used myu dedective skills to find where I can get the good peen and came here!"

_~Timeskip because I'm too lazy to write this bit~_

Suddenly the door opene again and this time it was..... Kaito and Amami!!! Soon all five of them (and pantasmamamama's empty, lifeless bottle). Amami jumped onto the bed screaming "HIT ME LIK A METAL BALL BBY HELLA YEA" and Kaito slinked in next to ouma as if he waws sliding into his dm and gently whispereed in Ouma's ear   
"I think I have a crush on you bab". Ouma look at the other purplehead all perplexedly.  
"is that foreshadowing wtf." but then kaito took his 666cm spacedick and rammed it into ouma's bootyhole. Ouma scREM and nUT all over the avocadohead's soft, warm, avocado hair. However, Amami's hair had mini genitals on him and he nUTtED on siahara's sexy sexy eyelashes which were currently roughly penetrating Kiibo's robobutt. Kiibo was the only one who hadnt nUTted yet so everyone turned their attention to him. They all touched his beautiful metallic body, putting their many penis holes into Kiibo's orifices. Suddently, Kiibo nUTted too and he scREm:  
"01000001 01100011 01100011 01101111 01110010 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101110 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110111 01110011 00001010 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 01110110 01101001 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 00001010 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100110 01101100 01111001 00101110 00100000 01001001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101110 01100111 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101101 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00001010 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01110100 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01100100 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100111 01110010 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100110 01101100 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 01110111 01100001 01111001 00101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100101 00001010 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101101 01110000 01101111 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00101110 00100000 01011001 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00100000 01011001 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00001010 01011001 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 00100000 01011001 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00101110 [cut for length]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then the author of this piece of shit gave up and went to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100001 00100000 
> 
> Also find me on Tumblr: theshittiestshipper!!


End file.
